as things change...

I apologize for my lack of blogging/updating this past month or so. Life has been quite hectic lately, and our internet connection has been lacking. This will most likely be my final blog before I see you all again. Last night was our farewell dinner, and tomorrow morning I will say goodbye to my family before I leave for Rwanda. After 10 days in Rwanda and a debrief session, I will board a plane headed for home. I can’t believe the time to leave has already come. In many ways, I feel like I have been here forever. But I also feel like I’ve just arrived. Change has never been among my favorite things. Especially when I know that it entails saying goodbye to people I may never see again. And these aren’t just any “people” - they are my family. I’ve invested in them and they’ve invested in me these past 4 months. I will never forget their kindness and hospitality. I hope I never forget my father’s passion for teaching children, my mama’s gentle and loving spirit, or Kennedy’s sense of humor and the way he treats me like a sister. I never want to forget Isaac’s kindness or the way James interacts with little Eddie. I could never forget Irene’s determination and energy. I will always miss Eddie’s laugh and the way Florence and I communicated with a combination of English and Luganda. I pray I never forget the way this family welcomed me into their lives. And how could I ever forget the week with my rural host family in Serere? I didn’t think it was possible to grow to love a family so much in only one week. I will always remember those incredible people. Mama’s selflessness. Talks with Papa under the stars. Anna’s hospitality. How Jennifer was always up for an adventure or trying new things. Gideon’s chapati song. How Katie showed so much grace carrying 20 liters of water on her head. The way Gilbert danced. Sarah’s spunky personality and hilarious one-liners. The way Nelson, Peter, Ana Grace, and Harry would fall asleep while eating their supper. I could never forget dancing during the first rainfall or how the entire family put on their nicest clothes when we took a family photo. I’ll always remember how Gideon and Jaq chased the rooster we killed for dinner, and the goodbye party they threw on the last night that resulted in a giant dance party. I could never forget those stars! And how relaxing it was to just sit under the mango tree. I had no watch, no phone and no computer. I had cockroaches crawling around my head as I slept, I ate in the dark using only my hands, and I had no definite plans for the week. And yet it was one of the greatest weeks of my life. Saying goodbye to that family was incredibly hard. And I know saying goodbye to my Mukono family will be just as hard - if not harder.
Have I already mentioned how much I hate goodbyes? Because I do. Throughout my life, I’ve practiced many goodbyes. And it never gets easier. While living in Africa, I’ve missed my friends and family in America more times than I could count. But I know when I return to America, I’ll miss my friends and family in Uganda incredibly. Last night at our goodbye party, a staff member shared a quote that resonates with me: "You will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart will always be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place." (Miriam Adney) As I consider this constant state of un-belonging, I’m reminded that this world is not my home. I am looking forward to the day when everyone I love will be in one place, praising our Father together.
As I look back over these past four months, I can’t help but be incredibly grateful. God has been so faithful as he prepared the way and gave me a challenging yet wonderful semester. At first, I was overwhelmed with culture shock and experienced a roller coaster ride of emotions. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, even though I couldn’t quite put into words why it was so hard. Because I couldn’t run to the comforts of home to make me feel better, I was forced to rely on the only One who never changes. God used that time to grow me, strengthen my character, and draw me to Himself in a way I couldn’t have experienced otherwise. Although I’ve had some challenges this past semester, I look back on them all with a grateful heart - I would not have changed anything.
My dear friends and family, I would like to take some time to warn all of you back home - I probably won’t be the same as I was when I left Oregon. God has taught me so many things and He’s changed me in ways I can’t explain in a single blog entry. When I return to America, I will most likely feel the effects of “reverse culture shock.” I have lived outside my American society for so long that I fear I will be quite overwhelmed by the differences. Many things will frustrate me, and I will probably struggle to implement my newfound values in a culture that will be quick to reject them. Please be patient with me as I get settled back into American life. I love you all very much and I apologize in advance for any cynical comments or frustrated attitudes. If you’d like to hear about my trip, I would appreciate it if you’d ask specific questions rather than the common, “How was Africa?” I will find it especially difficult to sum up a life-changing experience in a 15-second answer. I’d love to go to coffee and talk through the things I’ve experienced and the way God’s been teaching me more about Himself and the world He’s created. Because I’ve learned so much, I will still be working through these things in the months and years to come. I apologize if I can’t articulate exactly what I’ve experienced or how I’ve grown. Be patient with me as I continue to figure these things out. In all honesty, I don’t know what to expect when I return home. It could be easier than I think it will be, or it could be much more difficult. Although I’ve changed, I’m still the same Hannah. I can’t wait to get caught up on your lives and I am truly looking forward to seeing you all again VERY soon! I’ve missed you all so very much!
I want to take a quick moment to address something that’s been on my mind since I’ve been here. I’ve received many messages and emails where people have praised me for the “good work” I’m doing in Uganda. But in so many ways, I’ve been blessed by the people I’ve met here more than they have been blessed by me. I’ve learned more from their way of life and their faith than I ever could have taught them. Please don’t think that since I’m in Africa, I’m more faithful or righteous than anyone else. God has called us all to be faithful, obedient servants within the context in which we’re living - I just happen to live in Africa. Moving to a third-world country doesn’t make one more holy than those people who are faithfully serving within their home communities.
As I think back on this semester, I am amazed at the way God has orchestrated it all. His faithfulness continues to amaze me. I hope I never forget the things He has taught me and that this semester does not just become some distant memory. I never want to forget my gratefulness for the many things we enjoy in America. I hope that in the years to come, I am still thankful every time I take a shower or use a washing machine. I hope I never take for granted the variety of food choices or clothing choices we have. I want to be thankful every time I can walk down the street without being started at, laughed at, or called “mzungu.” Even if I become frustrated with aspects of American society, I hope I will constantly give thanks for a government that is not corrupt and a police force that is reliable and trustworthy. We live in an incredibly privileged country, friends - never forget that.

That being said, I also hope I never forget the many beautiful things about Uganda. And there are many. I especially don’t want to forget the African values such as presence, living simply, and being in community. These things have become a part of life for me, and even though it will be hard, I hope to live out these newfound values within my American context. Pray for me as I try to unite my life in Uganda with my life in America. And like I said, please be patient with me as I return home and try to figure things out. I really am excited to see you all again - I’ve missed you all very much. As I try to understand my reluctance to say goodbye and my excitement to return home, I am constantly reminded that “there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.” Despite the dislike I have for change, I am actually incredibly grateful for it. Especially this semester, I have experienced that in those moments of change, God grows us in ways we would never expect. And for that I couldn’t be more thankful.

Once again, thank you for your support and prayers this past semester. I couldn’t have made it through without you all! See you very soon!

I was going to upload a few pictures from my last couple months, but internet is horrible now. If you want to see some pictures, I just uploaded new ones to my Facebook page. Check them out!

Under the Mango Tree

First of all, I want to thank all of you who prayed for me during my Rural Homestay. God went above and beyond answering my prayer requests. I couldn’t ask for a better week. I grew extremely close to my host family and fell in love with the way they lived their lives. There are too many details to fully explain my week, so I will leave you with a journal entry I wrote while there and end with pictures of highlights from the week.

Tuesday, February 21st

The other day, I heard a Ugandan repeat a popular phrase: “Americans have watches; Africans have time.” About a month ago, I lost my watch. I grew to be pretty dependent on it the first month, so it was hard to get used to life without one. I wanted to buy one by the day I left for my rural home stay but never got the time.

Now here I am, sitting under the mango tree at my rural home stay, with no idea what the time is. And I couldn’t be more grateful. Without a watch, I measure my days by the location of the sun in the sky. Without a watch, the days feel longer and much more restful. Without a watch, I’m finally learning what it means to live in the present.

One of the greatest African values is presence. Being present with others and living in the present. As I sit under this mango tree, I can’t help but wonder how many times I think about everything but the present. For the past two years, all I thought about was my semester in Uganda. Now that I’m here, I constantly find myself thinking about what it will be like when I go back home this summer. I’m the kind of person who tends to live in the past, always thinking back on the “good ol’ days.” I’m also a planner. And a worrier. And an over-analyzer. All of which cause me to dwell in the past or fret about the future. I have a difficult time simply being.

While here in Uganda, I can’t help but think about how and where God wants to use me in the future. I’m tempted to worry about the fact that I don’t know what life will look like after I graduate college. But being here with my African family, I get the sense that they have a better understanding of Jesus’ words in Matthew: “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.”

When my mind starts to wander and I begin worrying about my future or over-analyzing past events, I want to remember how it feels sitting under this mango tree, without a watch. I’ll remember the presence of my older sisters as we comfortably sit in silence. I’ll remember the calmness and simplicity of their rural life. And I’ll remember how it feels to be in the present - only thinking of what this particular moment holds, sitting under this mango tree.

My time in Soroti was almost too good for words. Because I can’t explain everything in a short blog entry, I will simply have to bring the week to life through pictures. :)

Part of our compound. We had 7 mud huts - some used for bedrooms, some for cooking spaces, some for storage. Our particular compound had been in the family as long as our Papa had been around, which was almost 70 years!

When one hears the term, “mud hut,” the common thoughts associated with that are “poor,” “deprived,” or “unfortunate.” However, they live much fuller lives than most Americans I know. They are rich in so many other ways.

The entire family. We had many people living in the same compound. In rural Uganda, when one family member gets married or has kids, they simply add more huts to the compound so the family can stay together. As you can see from the picture, my friend Natasha was also placed with the same family. It was great having an American sister to process and experience the week with! 

My beautiful Mama. Even though she couldn’t speak much English, I was inspired by her humble, giving spirit. I instantly noticed the care she had for her family, the deep love she had for the Lord and His Word, and the servant’s heart she so beautifully modeled. One morning while we were sweeping, my flip flops broke. She immediately took hers off and offered them to me, even though she had no other pair. It was such a simple gesture, but spoke so much about her character and the communal mentality of rural Africa.

These four kids stole my heart. My nephews and niece from left to right are: Nelson, 5; Harry, 6; Anna Grace, 8; Peter, 5. They called me “Auntie” all week and loved playing games and taking pictures. Even though they didn’t speak much English at all, I loved being with them. They are filled with so much joy and have lots of energy. On the morning Natasha and I had to leave, they refused to go to school because they wanted to spend that last hour with us. The tears they shed as we drove away made it that much harder to leave.

Susan and Anna with oranges from their orchard. (Yes, Ugandan oranges are green). These two ladies are so great. I never grew up with older sisters so it was wonderful to grow close to my many sisters in such a short time. They took such good care of us and did a great job teaching us new skills, as well as simply being with us.

Milking a cow! My cousin Gideon was such a good teacher! It was lots easier than I thought it was, but I’m pretty sure it would take me all day to fill a bucket. :)

Natasha and I helping our sister Jennifer make chapati! For those of you who don’t know, chapatis are fried dough that has been rolled into balls and flattened like tortillas. The Indians brought them over and now they are sold at practically every food cart on the road. I’m planning on mastering the recipe before I come to America because I know I’ll be craving them when I get back!

My silly nephew, Nelson (Nelly) in my shades. He seriously has the best laugh in the world. Miss him already.

Susan’s new fish friend :) Our sisters taught us how to de-scale tilapia one night for dinner.

On Thursday, it finally rained after an extended dry season. We were all thrilled, to say the least. I even taught them a song that involved dancing in the pouring rain! Definitely a highlight of my time in Africa so far!

Another nephew named Jonah (8 months). Such a cute, happy little baby!

On the last day, our sisters took us on a walk through town. We ended up on top of this hill with an amazing view of African countryside! In the picture are Katie (with Jonah), Florence, Natasha, me, and Jennifer.

Yeah, we killed that rooster. Used that very knife to cut the head off. And it was a stinkin’ good dinner!

The night before we left, the whole family threw a goodbye party for us! The kids sang us goodbye songs, we had a delicious chicken meal (thanks to our rooster-slaying skills), we all had sodas, and there was lots of dancing! Natasha and I taught them cheesy American dance moves like the fist pump and the shopping cart. :) Even our parents, who are in their late 60s, joined the dancing!

This family was so full of life and I couldn’t have asked for a better week. It was much harder than I thought to leave them. I’m planning on keeping in touch and sending pictures and cards when I get back home. They will forever leave an impact on my life and maybe one day God will bring me back to visit - who knows? 

Thanks again for all the prayers! Please pray for continued relationships with my host family here in Mukono. It has been harder to connect with them, but I’m trying not to compare families. I love them both dearly, and I know God has placed me with each one for different reasons.

This last week marked the half-way point for my time in Uganda. I can't believe it! In many ways I feel like I've been here forever, but in other ways time seems to be disappearing quickly. I'm just praying that I can take full advantage of this time God has given me. I'm learning so much and couldn't be more grateful for this time in my life. Miss you all dearly, though, and am looking forward to seeing you in a couple months. Thanks for your continued support and encouragement. Siiba Bulungi!

Love, Hannah :)

One Month.

When I was preparing to come to Africa, I think I had an idealized expectation of what I was going to experience. Maybe I was expecting to have a “mountain-top high” in every moment. Maybe I was expecting to be happy all the time simply because of the fact I was in Africa.  But that’s definitely not true. As my friends have been reminding me, “life is still life, no matter where you go.” I still brush my teeth every day. I still hit my ‘snooze’ button on my alarm every morning. I still have moments of feeling overwhelmed with school work. I still become giddy when I see a sunset, and I still smile when I listen to my seasonal playlists. Life hasn’t changed in that sense. But it has become more difficult. I am accustomed to an American lifestyle, not a Ugandan one. When I first arrived here, I felt completely overwhelmed by the many changes. I was immediately faced with a hotter climate, a loss of routines, unfamiliar faces, a lack of electricity and running water, a language barrier, a new community, and strange insects. It would be nice if these adjustments came one at a time, but they tend to travel in packs, leaving me overwhelmed and emotionally drained. It takes a lot of perseverance and patience to push past the language barrier each day, relinquish my personal space, and make the effort to “break the ice” with my host family. But if I didn’t have these experiences, I don’t think I would be able to have an authentic experience. 

A few weekends ago, we American students went on a retreat to Jinja, a town which is beautifully located on Lake Victoria at the source of the Nile. While we were there, I couldn’t help wondering about the other white people I saw vacationing at the resort. They would snap pictures of the grass hut hotels and admire the palm trees. They would take a boat ride on Lake Victoria to the source of the Nile or swim in the luxurious chlorine-treated pool. They would eat meat and drink a glass of soda at each meal. They could do all these things and think, “This is Africa!” But the truth is, that was not Africa. Not the authentic Africa. Granted, I definitely acted like a tourist while I was there, too. But while I noticed the other tourists, I couldn’t help but think about the Ugandans I encounter every day. My brothers who wake up early to feed our many animals. My father who teaches math to his large class of primary students. My little brother and sister who play games with the neighborhood kids all afternoon. My mother who grades exams by day and cooks supper for our family into the late hours of the evening. I could have come to Africa and lived the comfortable life in an expat community. Instead, I am diving into the culture with all its overwhelming facets. It is emotionally draining, but in the end it will be so worth it. By living with a family, I am learning to live a true Ugandan life, the way Ugandans experience it every day. In the end, these “authentic” experiences are the ones I prefer. These are the experiences that draw me closer to my family and closer to learning more about the culture I love.

And I am learning to love it. Life has gotten so much easier. I am finally feeling at home here. I am still trying to grow closer to my family, but many of them are quite shy or don’t speak much English. My brothers Kennedy and Isaac have moved away to boarding school, which has been hard since they are the family members I have connected with most. But I am definitely looking forward to the time I will have with the rest of the family. I am developing a normal routine and the things that used to feel unusual (like bucket bathing and using a latrine) are becoming second nature. I really enjoy being at home with my family in the evening. They are so laid-back and comfortable to be around. Even if I can’t understand what they are saying most of the time, the love they have for one another is evident and so refreshing to see. My mama has been asking me to help her run errands or assist her with household chores, which has made me feel more like a part of this family. My little sister started her first day of primary (elementary) school on Monday and she’s been really excited about that. We live in the middle of three primary schools, so there have been lots of children running around our neighborhood. On Sunday, my friend (an American student who lives down the path from my house) and I played with the kids who live in our neighborhood. We taught them games like “Red Rover” and “Down on the Banks,” while they taught us some fun Ugandan games. I really enjoy being part of a close community, which is a very important value in African life. My neighbors greet me every morning as I leave for school, and shout “Kulikayo!” (Welcome Back!) when I return home in the afternoon.

I’ve almost been here a month. It’s crazy how quickly the time has gone already! I find myself wishing time would just slow down. The first few weeks were hard, but God has been SO faithful throughout it all. Every once in a while, I have moments where I feel the need to pinch myself to see if this is really happening. Am I seriously in Africa?! Yes. I really am. And I am falling more in love with this country and this culture every day. Thank you all for your continued prayers - I can definitely feel them! And to all of you who have written me emails or sent notes of encouragement - THANK YOU! Even if I haven’t responded, they have meant the world to me and I’m not sure I could have gotten through the first few weeks without them. I am so grateful for your continued love and support.

Lastly, I have posted some pictures below so you can visualize some of the wonderful moments I’ve had since being here. Sending love to you all from Uganda!!

Hannah :)

My friend Samantha with some of our neighborhood kids - we taught them Red Rover :)

Aleda and I by Lake Victoria - Jinja, Uganda

Part of the group at the source of the Nile River.

Mukono Market Madness!

Part of an Introduction Ceremony - an event where the bride's family meets the groom's family for the first time before the wedding. So much color, dancing, and celebration! 

My 6-year-old sister Irene with my 1-year-old brother Eddie :)

Brother James preparing jackfruit in the front yard.

My mama cutting a matooke plant down in our garden for dinner.

Playing cards with Irene - her favorite past-time :)

Me with Eddie and a neighborhood friend.

The First Week.

Beautiful. Challenging. Breathtaking. Emotional. Inspirational. Overwhelming.

This past week has been overflowing with so many different emotions. More mixed emotions than I’ve experienced in a long time. I’m not quite sure what I was expecting, but I don’t think I expected it to be this hard. To be honest, I’ve sort of been avoiding writing a blog entry because there’s just so much to say and I’ve no idea how to say it all. So I’m not even going to try.

I do, however, want to briefly fill you all in on how I’ve been doing thus far. The first couple days were hard. Getting used to the hot weather, being stared at constantly, the different foods, the new sights and smells, the lack of toilets and showers, the bugs, and the language barrier was a lot to take in. Because of the overwhelming nature of it all, the only way I could seem to process my new environment was through tears. 

On Sunday I was dropped off at the place I will call home for the next four months. I live with the Kitamarike family. In the family are Henry (my father), Jane (my mother), Kennedy and James (my 17-year-old brothers), Isaac (my 14-year-old brother), Irene (my 6-year-old sister) and Eddie (my 1-year-old brother). They are such a loving family and I’m looking forward to getting to know them better as the semester goes on. I live in a little farming community with lots of animals! Our home is quite “simple.” I share a room with my sister, I bathe and wash clothes using a bucket, my “toilet” is a hole in the ground, and I live out of my suitcase. In a few weeks, these things will be completely second nature, and probably won’t seem unusual at all. I’m looking forward to that.

It took me a few days to get over the initial culture shock, but I already feel that everyday gets easier. Even though I am continually on my toes, afraid of committing some “cultural taboo,” I am realizing that those moments of misunderstanding are opportunities to learn about the culture. I find comfort in the fact that it will get easier as time goes on.

Laundry time!

I will leave you with a list of the things I am already learning to appreciate and love about my life here:

-walking home during an African sunset and waking up to an African sunrise.

-the fact that I get to share this experience with 42 other American students who understand exactly what one another is going through.

-the way my baby brother, Eddie, dances when he walks.

-the beauty of the place. The colors seem so much more vivid under the equatorial sun - the grass is greener, the sky is bluer, and the flowers are more vibrant.

-the bond I already have with my brother, Kennedy. He and I fetch water every evening and we’ve already had many good conversations. He jokes around with me like a brother would, which helps me feel like I really belong in the family.

-the fact that I can hear live traditional African music every night while falling asleep.

Jonathan (a friend of my brothers), Isaac (14), Eddie (1) and Kennedy (17).

Being in this unfamiliar environment has left me feeling afraid, confused and overwhelmed. But in the midst of these changes, I’ve found beauty in the fact that I know the One who never changes. Although I’ve known this my whole life, the truth of it has never felt as real as it did this past week. I’ve felt so much comfort as I cry out to the God who sees my tears, understands all my mixed emotions, and holds my future in his hands. His faithfulness continues to amaze me.


Thank you all for your prayers and support. It is so encouraging to know I am being upheld by the prayers of so many I love. I hope everyone is doing well! Shoot me an email and let me know what’s going on in your lives. I’d love to hear about it!

Goodbye from Uganda! (Weeraba!)