as things change...

I apologize for my lack of blogging/updating this past month or so. Life has been quite hectic lately, and our internet connection has been lacking. This will most likely be my final blog before I see you all again. Last night was our farewell dinner, and tomorrow morning I will say goodbye to my family before I leave for Rwanda. After 10 days in Rwanda and a debrief session, I will board a plane headed for home. I can’t believe the time to leave has already come. In many ways, I feel like I have been here forever. But I also feel like I’ve just arrived. Change has never been among my favorite things. Especially when I know that it entails saying goodbye to people I may never see again. And these aren’t just any “people” - they are my family. I’ve invested in them and they’ve invested in me these past 4 months. I will never forget their kindness and hospitality. I hope I never forget my father’s passion for teaching children, my mama’s gentle and loving spirit, or Kennedy’s sense of humor and the way he treats me like a sister. I never want to forget Isaac’s kindness or the way James interacts with little Eddie. I could never forget Irene’s determination and energy. I will always miss Eddie’s laugh and the way Florence and I communicated with a combination of English and Luganda. I pray I never forget the way this family welcomed me into their lives. And how could I ever forget the week with my rural host family in Serere? I didn’t think it was possible to grow to love a family so much in only one week. I will always remember those incredible people. Mama’s selflessness. Talks with Papa under the stars. Anna’s hospitality. How Jennifer was always up for an adventure or trying new things. Gideon’s chapati song. How Katie showed so much grace carrying 20 liters of water on her head. The way Gilbert danced. Sarah’s spunky personality and hilarious one-liners. The way Nelson, Peter, Ana Grace, and Harry would fall asleep while eating their supper. I could never forget dancing during the first rainfall or how the entire family put on their nicest clothes when we took a family photo. I’ll always remember how Gideon and Jaq chased the rooster we killed for dinner, and the goodbye party they threw on the last night that resulted in a giant dance party. I could never forget those stars! And how relaxing it was to just sit under the mango tree. I had no watch, no phone and no computer. I had cockroaches crawling around my head as I slept, I ate in the dark using only my hands, and I had no definite plans for the week. And yet it was one of the greatest weeks of my life. Saying goodbye to that family was incredibly hard. And I know saying goodbye to my Mukono family will be just as hard - if not harder.
Have I already mentioned how much I hate goodbyes? Because I do. Throughout my life, I’ve practiced many goodbyes. And it never gets easier. While living in Africa, I’ve missed my friends and family in America more times than I could count. But I know when I return to America, I’ll miss my friends and family in Uganda incredibly. Last night at our goodbye party, a staff member shared a quote that resonates with me: "You will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart will always be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place." (Miriam Adney) As I consider this constant state of un-belonging, I’m reminded that this world is not my home. I am looking forward to the day when everyone I love will be in one place, praising our Father together.
As I look back over these past four months, I can’t help but be incredibly grateful. God has been so faithful as he prepared the way and gave me a challenging yet wonderful semester. At first, I was overwhelmed with culture shock and experienced a roller coaster ride of emotions. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, even though I couldn’t quite put into words why it was so hard. Because I couldn’t run to the comforts of home to make me feel better, I was forced to rely on the only One who never changes. God used that time to grow me, strengthen my character, and draw me to Himself in a way I couldn’t have experienced otherwise. Although I’ve had some challenges this past semester, I look back on them all with a grateful heart - I would not have changed anything.
My dear friends and family, I would like to take some time to warn all of you back home - I probably won’t be the same as I was when I left Oregon. God has taught me so many things and He’s changed me in ways I can’t explain in a single blog entry. When I return to America, I will most likely feel the effects of “reverse culture shock.” I have lived outside my American society for so long that I fear I will be quite overwhelmed by the differences. Many things will frustrate me, and I will probably struggle to implement my newfound values in a culture that will be quick to reject them. Please be patient with me as I get settled back into American life. I love you all very much and I apologize in advance for any cynical comments or frustrated attitudes. If you’d like to hear about my trip, I would appreciate it if you’d ask specific questions rather than the common, “How was Africa?” I will find it especially difficult to sum up a life-changing experience in a 15-second answer. I’d love to go to coffee and talk through the things I’ve experienced and the way God’s been teaching me more about Himself and the world He’s created. Because I’ve learned so much, I will still be working through these things in the months and years to come. I apologize if I can’t articulate exactly what I’ve experienced or how I’ve grown. Be patient with me as I continue to figure these things out. In all honesty, I don’t know what to expect when I return home. It could be easier than I think it will be, or it could be much more difficult. Although I’ve changed, I’m still the same Hannah. I can’t wait to get caught up on your lives and I am truly looking forward to seeing you all again VERY soon! I’ve missed you all so very much!
I want to take a quick moment to address something that’s been on my mind since I’ve been here. I’ve received many messages and emails where people have praised me for the “good work” I’m doing in Uganda. But in so many ways, I’ve been blessed by the people I’ve met here more than they have been blessed by me. I’ve learned more from their way of life and their faith than I ever could have taught them. Please don’t think that since I’m in Africa, I’m more faithful or righteous than anyone else. God has called us all to be faithful, obedient servants within the context in which we’re living - I just happen to live in Africa. Moving to a third-world country doesn’t make one more holy than those people who are faithfully serving within their home communities.
As I think back on this semester, I am amazed at the way God has orchestrated it all. His faithfulness continues to amaze me. I hope I never forget the things He has taught me and that this semester does not just become some distant memory. I never want to forget my gratefulness for the many things we enjoy in America. I hope that in the years to come, I am still thankful every time I take a shower or use a washing machine. I hope I never take for granted the variety of food choices or clothing choices we have. I want to be thankful every time I can walk down the street without being started at, laughed at, or called “mzungu.” Even if I become frustrated with aspects of American society, I hope I will constantly give thanks for a government that is not corrupt and a police force that is reliable and trustworthy. We live in an incredibly privileged country, friends - never forget that.

That being said, I also hope I never forget the many beautiful things about Uganda. And there are many. I especially don’t want to forget the African values such as presence, living simply, and being in community. These things have become a part of life for me, and even though it will be hard, I hope to live out these newfound values within my American context. Pray for me as I try to unite my life in Uganda with my life in America. And like I said, please be patient with me as I return home and try to figure things out. I really am excited to see you all again - I’ve missed you all very much. As I try to understand my reluctance to say goodbye and my excitement to return home, I am constantly reminded that “there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.” Despite the dislike I have for change, I am actually incredibly grateful for it. Especially this semester, I have experienced that in those moments of change, God grows us in ways we would never expect. And for that I couldn’t be more thankful.

Once again, thank you for your support and prayers this past semester. I couldn’t have made it through without you all! See you very soon!

I was going to upload a few pictures from my last couple months, but internet is horrible now. If you want to see some pictures, I just uploaded new ones to my Facebook page. Check them out!